Saturday, June 30, 2012


In my neighborhood there was a legend of an 8 year old boy who defeated the original Legend of Zelda in less than 2 hours, all on his first try. He did so without the aid of walkthroughs or older brothers. Many believed the boy to be the real life incarnation of the hero Link. I never met the child prodigy and could never authenticate this story, but I gained a great deal from his legend. His example gave me the strength to push myself to grater heights. At age 12 I was the first in my town to successfully gathered all 120 stars of Mario 64.

I don't write this to boast of myself, I know it comes of as vain, I only mention this feat in hopes of giving others courage to rise to grater heights. Many tasks in life, at first, may seem insurmountable, and sadly often when we hear tales of heroic feats, we write them off as Legends, because that is a lot easier than raising our own bar. I guarantee you, that with a little ambition, a lot of patience, and a modicum of resolve, you too can gather every last star in your own copy of Mario 64 and meet in victory with Yoshi on the rooftop of the princesses castle!

One odd thing about legends like Bigfoot is that early photographic images of them always come up blurry.  I did some research and it turns out that even early images of the hero link from the Legend of Zelda were surprisingly blurry. Does this mean as technology evolves Legends evolve along with it?... if you are epileptic scroll down quickly.

I took a college class on legends and fairy tales a few years back, and the one story that stood out the most was the Arabian Nights. Basically this girl was supposed to be executed for something but got out of it by telling the Sultan stories with cliff hangers every night. The cool thing is how the Arabian Nights was not written down for years. There were hundreds of these subplots that grew out of this one main story, and finally someone decided to write a bunch of em down. Each story seemed to have a moral or manipulative message embedded in them, like don't hit goats. I forget exactly, but the important thing is the way legends evolve almost in a Darwinian manner. If one generation didn't like a story they wouldn't pass it down to the next, or if they did they would at least change things here and there.

Some have defined legends as being unauthenticated. I can not tell you the origin of this definition because the definition itself is in fact legendary. I think it is human nature to leave some things uncharted and mysterious. If I were to ever meet the Zelda boy I would most certainly be disappointed at the details of his life. I think even if Bigfoot was authentic most would want to hold on to him, or her as a legend because Bigfoot is way more entertaining as a mystery than just another zoo attraction. To illustrate this a little, here is a clip I found about a human chimp named Oliver aka little big foot. He walks upright has a bald head, and looves beef jerky.

Maybe all Bigfoot is is just a bigger version of Oliver. Which opens the door to a future movie mashup, Teenage Mutant Ninja Bigfoot. And maybe we can just change his origin story completely and say he is just an alien.

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