Monday, July 1, 2013

Awesome Aaron's 10 easy steps!

I have expanded my research into new realms, and hope to bring you weekly tutorials. Introducing: Awesome Aaron's 10 Easy Steps!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Short Story "Donner and Cam"

The first time Donner heard of astroid mining he was 15. He liked throwing rocks high into the air and pretending he was on a spaceship on a mission to harvest the rocks for gold. One of them came back and hit him in the head. This should have done something to change his path in life, but it didn't and right now Donner is just about to get hit in the face by a much larger rock. Well technically Donner is about to hit it in the face, but...well now I wasn't paying attention and missed it. He seems to have survived the crash, as suspected. He did have on his seat belt, which was lucky. No one ever wears those in space these days except for the really paranoid type.

Now that he is on his assigned asteroid there will be no point in sending for repairs. His vessel is designed to be left behind, once again, lucky. Now all he has to do is shake himself off and head over to the mine and stay there alone for the next 6 months. Oh never mind, there's another miner there I didn't see, sorry. Her name tag says Cam, and it looks as if there will not be any meet cute happening because Donner just walked right past her without even noticing her. What an idiot. She is pretty too, I think, she hasn't looked up yet. Oh no it's a man, terribly sorry about that, I was thrown off by the long hair, probably due to the lack of barbers up here.

It looks like Donner is eating something now, a potato maybe? Who cares. He has just survived a nasty crash landing and the point is he still has a strong appetite, and if that doesn't speak to his character I don't know what does. He is crying a little bit though, which might explain why he didn't say hello to Cam... the man with long hair... from two seconds ago! Sorry my friend just got here. Oh here he comes now, maybe to say hello. Hold on a second guys...

Nope, he didn't say hello either. How devastatingly awkward. Cam just grabbed what also looks to be another potato and started eating it, and is starring Donner down. What a glare, you guys! It's as if he is saying, “I've been alone here for the last 6 months, no big deal, no need to say hello or anything.” but all with his eye's. I wish you could see this, they are so expressive.

Donner is still crying, probably more than is normal for a crash like that, but one shouldn't judge. Hold on he just said something, I missed it, “Hey” I think.

Now Cam is saying, “Why didn't you engage your counter thrusters once you cleared the ion field?”

Oh good question, he totally nailed him on that one. 

Ok here's Donner's response, “My hands went numb from prolonged exposure to zero g and I couldn't squeeze the trigger.” 

Great response!

“Why didn't you use voice command?”


“I forgot the override command sequence for that.”


“Well I can leave it off my report since it's a first incident. It is the first, correct?”

Well if you don't count when he was 15!

“Well if you don't count when I was 15, I threw a rock in the air and it hit me in the face.”

I did not think he'd share that, if I'm honest. Made him stop crying, and start laughing at himself though.

Well I'm bored, sorry. There is a lot more to see out here, I'm not wasting anymore time watching two dudes cut into a rock for 6 months. So I'll check back in later, gonna go eat me some spiral galaxies! Later bordos! Later fleshos!